and tonight is one of those nights…where I feel so ubelievably unwanted that the only reasonable thing I can think to do is just crawl into a hole and never be heard or seen from again. Im starting to think that isn’t such a bad idea crawling into a hole and just hiding for the rest of my life…I doubt many people would even notice. I probably wouldn’t even notice. I could go through the grieving process of losing all the people I care about and just be alone because there would be no one new to meet and get attached too, no people to come into your life and then just leave on a whim or just stop acting like they ever knew you in the first place.
Maybe tomorrow I will start digging my metaphorical hole. And just hide somewhere dark and alone and hope to not be a nuisance to anyone but the shadows on the wall. Maybe I was just never meant to actually be around people. Maybe I was meant to be some white skinned cave dweller who flinches at the mere thought of light.